


Don’t say that

by Trashy_clown



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Club House, Coming Out, Crying, Fluff and Angst, Gay Panic, Gen, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Richie Tozier is a Mess, Richie Tozier's Internalized Homophobia, Teenage Losers Club (IT), Teenage Richie Tozier, gay slurs, no violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26398906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trashy_clown/pseuds/Trashy_clown
Summary: Richie didn’t know how the conversation started he just knew he wanted it to end.I just really want the losers to have a conversation about gay people and Richie just has a melt down.I’m sorry I don’t know.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, The Losers Club & Richie Tozier
Kudos: 77





	Don’t say that

**Author's Note:**

> TW/ f slurs multiple times and vomiting.

Richie didn’t know how the conversation started,well he did but not exactly. You see Richie has been having a good day, a good days rare for Richie Tozier but he loved good days.

Good days were when he was just Richie, funny, loud, smiling, 14 year old, STRAIGHT, Richie Tozier.Good days were when Richie was able to shove down all his disgusting Gay feelings for his best friend, Eddie-Fucking-Kasbrak. 

  
This was only because Eddie had a doctors appointment today so he wasn’t at school. But now he was siting in the same hammock as Richie, his socked toes in his face wiggle oh happily as he read his spider-man and peter Parker volume 2 comic.

 _he looks so cute right now-No bad stop it you stupid brain!_ Richies brain was on hyper speed now that Eddie was here and it was killing Richie _I’m not like this I’m not like this I’m not like-_

“they we’re gay?” Richies chant in is head was cut off by eddies voice asking mike quizzically gating a nod in response from mike who swung slowly in his swing. “and they were just holding hands” Bill adds on. _what are they talking about!!!_ Richies brain screamed at him. he pretended to continue reading his Batman comic listening in on the conversation.

”and someone just...jumped them? For holding hands” Ben asked his eyebrows furrowing together. Stanly hummed in confirmation “that’s fucking stupid” Beverly joined in pulling her cigarettes way from her chaped lips. ”yeah two boys should’ve not been holding hands in public, that’s un-sa-“ Eddie added in but was Cut off be Richie “it’s disgusting” everyone’s eyes were on Richie, Stanley’s eyebrows We’re furrowed in confusion and Eddies in anger “that’s not wh-“ Eddie was cut off again “boys are with girls and girls are with boys. NOT the other way around!” Richie almost shouted, siting up in the hammock causing it to swing violently.

”I mean am I right! Like-like girls like boys and boys like girls! So like they should just all DiE right?! Right?! right?...”he was shouting now his eyes wide and his hands tangled together in his lap.”what? That’s..” Eddie trailed off “are you homophobic rich?” Bill asked confusion in his voice, the other losers looking at him for confirmation in disbelief and disappointment “W-what! No- I’m just- I’m.. I”he stamerd out his heart beating a million miles a minute at the looks on his friends faces.

“your homophobic” Stan said disappointment thick in his voice, Eddie shook his head climbing out of the hammock “why Rich? There’s nothing wrong with gay people” Eddie asked as he crossed his arms. Richie felt his face head up and hands get sweaty.   
  


he felt so small siting in that hammock All his friends looking down on him with disappointment dripping of there faces. _They don’t hate gay people... but they won’t wana hang out with one_ his brain taunted his thoughts.   
  


“there is something wrong with gay people. They they they should feel that was about the same sex, It’s Wrong it’s just wrong. Ok. It’s unnatural there gona go to hell and -and all there -“ he stoped trying to take in a deep breath but it just came in shake. He pressed his eyes shut willing weay the tears, _boys don’t cry._ He opens his eyes his voice sounded high strung “ there p-parents are gonna hate them, a-and and there gona be killed for likening the same sex, and then there f-friends are g-gona hate them and they’ll be alone and and, even tho his parents love them they’ll kick him out and disown him and and” Richie pauses taking in another shakeing breath. The losers seemed to notice the change in pronoun. Sharing quizzical glances as they listened to richies ranting.

”they they- he would have no one, he would d-die because b-because he likes a b-boy!? That’s not I-it’s not fair it’s so unfair.” Richie felt shame engulf him as the tears rolled down his red face.

He was Crying. 

“I don’t wana‘ die” _._ he wisperd to himself as shaky cry’s recked through his body. He jumped at a warm hand on his shoulder rubbing circles.   
  


it was Bev.   
  


“Richie?” She asked tentatively. Crouching down in-front of the hammock gazing into his eyes sympathetically “are you... are you gay?”   
  


“IM NOT A FUCKING FAG BEV!”

Beverly jumped back her eyes wide. Suprize and disbelief washed over the rest of the losers faces.   
  


richie was full on sobbing now, it was ugly and wet and snotty, his hands were under his coke bottle glasses the heels of his hands pressed into his picked eyes painfully, trying to stop the tears.   
  


“I’m not a fag” he whispered

”don’t say that word rich” Stanley said walking closer to him and siting down in the hammock and pulling Richie closely with his arm “why not? It’s what I deserve I say I’m not a fag but I am! I am! I’m a-“ he quickly turns around throwing up over the edge of the hammock and onto the dirt floor. “It’s ok if your gay Richie” Ben said quietly as he kneeled next Beverly in front of the now green faced Richie.”no it’s not” he wisperd the tears falling into his downtrend mouth.   
  


“it is okay” bill joins in sliding into the hamock next Richie and slinging his arm around him too. “Yeah Trashmouth. I’m gay too” Eddie said bluntly causing Richies Red eyes to widen in hope “but your to perfect spaghetti” he said smiling sadly as another sob recked through him. Mike got up from the swing pulling Richie to his feet and hugging him tightly. _Mike gives the best hugs. “_ I love you richie” Beverly said joining the hug. “Same. We all love you” Ben said Huging him too. Soon everyone was hugging a sobbing Trashmouth. “You love me?” He asked his lip trembling.   
  


“of course dumbass” stanly said causing a quiet collection of laughter through the hug.

”but I’m gay... holy fuck I’m gay” he said reality that it’s not a bad thing hitting him “and you all love me” he started crying again but it was happy tears not sad.

”so who’s your crush?!” Beverly asked as they all pulled away from the hug.

”you wish ringwald” Richie said laughter ripping through the room.

”your cleaning up that barf” Eddie said groaning in discuss.   
  


“well shit”

**Author's Note:**

> Plz leave kudos if you liked this I really would appreciate it.


End file.
